Traditions and Transitions

Already, it was not a traditional Christmas. In years past I would have had much of the Christmas shopping completed. Finally, two weeks before Christmas I had a few ideas. One was to get newlyweds Joel and Emma a cast iron aebelskiver pan so they could be the fourth generation to enjoy the delicious Danish round pancakes that both of my grandmothers, then my mother and finally me had prepared for Christmas morning breakfasts. 

The pans are not easy to find, especially because postal delivery (I had ordered these pans online for wedding gifts for several nieces over the years) would be cutting it close. I turned to Google. It directed me to the Bosch Kitchen Center in Sandy. Off I drove. I always enjoy a drive at Christmas time because it means non-stop Christmas music. 

The Bosch Kitchen Center was a good choice. One nice clerk quickly directed me to the heavy aebelskiver pans--a dozen or so stacked in boxes on a sturdy shelve. Another nearby clerk (both were women in their 50s) had never heard about aebelskivers so we both tried to describe the fluffy dough balls that are delicious covered with homemade fruit jams (peach and raspberry are my favorites), syrups (homemade chokecherry for sure) or lemon and powdered sugar. 

The second clerk then helped me find a cool rolling pin for Sarah (on her list). I leaned towards the traditional wood rolling pin, but the nice woman encouraged me to buy the fancy pin (when asked she said it is what she would buy for her 24-year-old daughter) with rings on the end that make sure the thickness of the cookie or pie dough was even. 

I left the two items at the back counter by all the specialty foods and continued exploring. Eventually I found some sheet cake pans for toasting holiday pre-skiing breakfasts of English muffins (also wonderful vehicles for fruit jams). 

When I got to the counter to check out, the rolling pin helping, non-aebelskiver knowing clerk stepped up to check me out. Perhaps just to be nice, she asked me more about the aebelskiver pan. I happily described the process of making them (folding in whipped egg whites is one step) and the various options for topping them. I explained that I was buying the aebelskiver pan for my recently married son and daughter-in-law so they can carry on a what may be a century long family tradition.  She then explained how in a recent lesson with the young women of her congregation (certainly LDS) they had talked about family traditions and the holidays. I don't know what came over me, but as we chatted about families and traditions, out of no where, my voice started to crack and weaken and tears started to well up in my eyes. 

It's not usual to come to tears over cast iron pans, so I'm sure the woman was a bit surprised. I decided to explain my break down. I told her that I had recently separated from my wife and was going through a divorce, that I was shopping not just for Christmas but also to fill in missing essentials for my apartment kitchen, and that I had no idea how the upcoming holiday season would be celebrated as a two-domicile family. Somewhere in the midst of all of that I also mentioned that I was gay. She then stepped out from behind the counter and asked if she could give me a hug. I tearily said yes and then she gave me a big motherly hung. Just what I needed. She explained that she had a gay son who had come out seven years ago at age 18. When I inquired, she explained that he was doing just fine. 

I left the Bosch Kitchen Center in a mix of emotions: happy to have met another (of many who have reached out to me) kind and understanding ally but still sad about the uncertainty of the upcoming holiday season. I knew that there would be lonely and sad times ahead (there were), but I decided that I would endeavor to hold on to beloved traditions when possible. I also determined that I would need to be creative and flexible and willing to skip some traditions or start new traditions. The main point was to ensure that the kids and I would be able to spend time together.

I started by putting up a single string of red, green and white lights on the porch of my apartment. As I have done for years, I also put up 10 similar strings on the apricot tree of our Springville home. 

One, unintended porch decoration was this peacock who decided my porch railing would be his nighttime roost from sunset to sunrise. Perhaps he liked the nuts I left out for him earlier in the year when my car in the car port was a favorite observation point for him. For about four straight weeks and in the freezing cold he never missed a night on the porch. On one of his first nights, he roosted near the stairs and his guano dropped in big white piles on my porch so two evenings in a row I threw cold water on him. He was a quick learner and moved to the far end of the porch. In this location most of his droppings drop to the ground cover below. I would always say hello to him as I came and went.  I have since learned that Krishna was a gift from the Hare Krishna temple to a family in the neighborhood across state street. He escaped when harassed by dogs. My landlord told the owners that Krishna was on my porch so the other night they came to catch him. At 10:30 pm I heard a ruckus on the porch. They had tried to throw a blanket over Krishna but missed and he flew away. He came back a few nights later, but when he saw me he flew away, perhaps thinking I was the one who turned him in. Krishna was a nice holiday friend. 

I put out decorations inside, but no tree. 

On the 18th the celebrations began with the Emmett family gathering at my sister Mary's house in Mapleton. We have been doing a live nativity for at least 30 years. I am always the narrator and keeper of the costumes (gathered from my many travels in the Middle East). These are some of the great grandkids of my parents. 

My niece posted this photo of her daughter as Mary and her son and a cousin as the wise men. I was busy narrating and missed the giggles of Mary. So cute. Later in the talent show Joel and Will surprised me with a rousing rendition of Oh Were from Nairobi--as we once performed it in Jerusalem --watch it here: https://beitemmett.blogspot.com/2010/09/blog-post.html

For the community sing along, Emma Gunn Emmett got a shot out and welcome to the family in the lyrics to Home for the Holidays that I revise every Christmas. 

Home for the Holidays 2022

Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays
'Cause no matter how far away you roam
When you pine for the sunshine of a friendly gaze
For the holidays you can't beat home, sweet home.

We gather each year for some food and fun

And child nativity

And we welcome new folks to the family

We welcome baby Leo Kamrani and new bride Emma Gunn

So from homes across the region we all join in celebration.

Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays
'Cause no matter how far away you roam
If you want to be happy in a million ways
For the holidays you can't beat home, sweet home

I took Christmas Rocks (my favorite neighborhood gift from Logan) and sent some home with all of my siblings. 

I also took our traditional appetizer offerings of shrimp cocktail and frozen grapefruit with Sprite. 

Christmas Eve the kids were with the Tueller family so I joined my sister Mary and her family for their Christmas eve dinner, songs and games. Next morning, I slept in. No aebelskivers this year, but I did have powdered sugar on sliced oranges--a long time companion of the traditional aebelskiver breakfast.  

Christmas afternoon the kids came over. 

We exchanged gifts.  

Sarah is smiling as she opens her fancy rolling pin.

I was delighted with this thoughtful gift from her. 

Ala The Christmas Story we enjoyed Chinese (takeout) food for our Christmas dinner. We have done this a few times before, so it may be on its way to becoming a tradition. 

Then at Sarah's recommendation, we cut and tied five fleece blankets to donate to Primary Childrens Hospital. When Sarah was a patient there she received a similar blanket so a few days before Christmas the two of us went to Hobby Lobby and bought enough fleece material to make five blankets. 

While cutting and tying we watched Home Alone 2. 

Notice the aebelskiver pan box.

It was a happy, fun, productive, relaxing, tasty Christmas day. 

Knowing that time with the kids would be limited and divided, I invited them to join me for a two day ski vacation where we could all be together for an extended period of time. On the afternoon of the 26th we drove to Logan where we met my brothers Tom and Bill and his wife Lorie for pizza at Fredrico's. We then drove to Garden City where we rented a condo for two nights. 

Next morning we had English muffins--topped with eggs and sausage or homemade jam for breakfast. We then drove 15 minutes to Beaver Mt. where he had lots of fun. Sadly, Sarah twisted her leg mid-day while skiing in the powder. 

Sarah sat out the afternoon skiing. Once showered and changed we drove north to Paris Idaho to see the Tabernacle built by Tueller ancestors. Trader Joes Lasagna for dinner followed by games and a movie. Next day Sarah's leg was still sore so after a repeat of English muffins we headed back home and a check up at the doctors--nothing serious but no skiing for a few weeks. 

One of the perks of being a twice a week lifty at Deer Valley is that I ski for free and my student dependents under age 24 (Joel and Will) get to ski for free too. Plus I get five extra passes for Emma and Sarah to use. These passes are not valid during the holidays, but on January 3rd and the 7th we put them to good use at Deer Valley with two fun days of skiing all the wonderful snow that has fallen this season. 

Sunday the 8th was had one last gathering before Sarah heads back to Boston. I fixed what has become a New Years tradition--only this year a week later. My rainbow platter (on my new sheet cake pan) was first introduced as the after baptism family dinners when each of our children were baptized. It then transitioned to a New Year's tradition.  A few years ago I added cheese fondue to the menu. 

Cheese fondue and fixens. 

At the end of dinner, we were treated to a beautiful sunset from my back balcony. I'm taking it as a sign that there are good times ahead. 

Many thanks to Sarah, Joel, Emma and Will for being so flexible, amenable and pleasant. I know this was not an easy or traditional holiday season for you either. Transitions, such as our family are going through, can be challenging but they can also introduce new joys and new traditions. That is my hope.